Time flies too fast…Between daily house routine, work and baby preparations it’s easy for a first time mom-to-be to miss out on this amazing state that we women get to experience. Sometimes I feel I want to hide and just be by myself with the babe inside me without any outside distractions.
Apparently, I’m not the first woman to feel this way.
One of the many things I’ve read about the postpartum part that caught my attention was a short article on lying-in.
Basically, it’s a ritual when a woman spends 15 days in the room with her newborn to learn to mother in the unique way only the baby can teach. I was shocked at first when I read it. What? Be shut out of the world, family and friends to attend to basic baby needs? But the more I read the article, the more the practice resonated with me. The midwife that had reshaped the traditional ritual to adapt it for busy professional women, described it this way:
“…working women, who are so accustomed to multi-tasking, goal setting and receiving recognition for results achieved, have difficulty letting go of those “ego-boosting goodies” and surrendering to the humbling demands of a newborn. There is a Grand Canyon of disappointment for many women who shift quickly from high-functioning work roles to being responsible for a baby and household. The lying-in allows women to see their mothering and caretaking at home part of learning to love unconditionally”.
“No distractions (household chores, radio, television, visitors) but plenty of immersion into new smells, touches, sights, sounds and tastes. Soak it all up – especially when you turn toward something more social, intellectual or practical, or less physical.”
I was intrigued to discover this. I found that I really want to try it when the time comes. Perhaps my own version with some exceptions (does it really have to be 15 days and no visitor at all?) but the core idea or lying-in agrees with me. I find that in today's culture we rush time too much. The baby is only a few days old but I see a mom carrying it through the mall, out running errands or taking newborn pictures at the photo lab in nearby grocery store. I can't help but wonder, should it be like that? Is this what new moms do nowadays? Should we rush into our old selves after childbirth right away or stop and let the world wait a little?
At least for a few days?
I love this. The purpose of this. And when I think back to it, I sort of did this with both kids. Not in the same way, but the ignoring of everything else but our little family part. No email, pictures, facebook, blogs etc. Just being. It's beautiful and you should do it (the way that feels right) for as long as it feels right. I'm still struggling to get out to socialize (as per my previous comment) because I'm just loving being their mom so much, I don't need other things to fulfill me. And I've learned to let the guilt about other things live at the back of my mind.
ReplyDeleteYou're so lovely and so peaceful in this photo. It takes me back to my pregnancies. And kinda makes me wanna have another one! :)