Don’t know about you but I had this happen to me at least once – after a friend have had a kid, we basically stopped seeing each other. They got busy with new responsibilities (which is totally understandable) and I got tired of reaching out or waiting for their response. And while I totally understand the whole “life without kids” vs. “life with kids” division (and soon to experience "life with a kid" side), I want to believe that real-life friendships can be saved after kids arrive. The trick is that just like with anything good in life, you have to make an effort and invest time in relationships/friendships in order for them to continue to flourish.
One of the most valuable advices I got from the parenting books and people already with kids:
"continue to nurture your other relationships while you're busy raising your kid/kids.
"Family life sure is rewarding but it’s healthy to have a balance and for the new parents/mommy to get out once in a while. Getting together with other adults even for an hour or two – is a great way to learn new things, to just chat, or to exchange opinions on various issues in life."
And I’m determined to stick to it. Moreover, I’m very determined to foster new friendships.
This past week was all about that - being social and spending time with people and participating in the life of our community. Prenatal classes, coffee shop meet-ups, book clubs, little get-togethers - it felt great and I'm hopeful not to let these important connections fall off my radar screen once we have our baby.
What do you think? Did you feel isolated when you had kids/went on mat leave? What was your "social strategy" (if any, of course)?
