Nobody said it’ll be easy

Four months in the North. Two full months of solo parenting. One day can pass by like a minute, another – like an eternity. It was a hard weekend. We both were sick, clingy and miserable. Saturday the babysitter came in, so I could get out for some groceries and a much needed break. To say the least, G wasn’t thrilled about my merely an hour absence. By the end of day Sunday, G lost it and scratched my face in the heat of a tantrum. I probably deserved it...

Grateful it’s Monday! even though it’s -29 outside.

Start

I feel that before talking about our recent change, I should at least bring you up to speed on the past two years. To say the least, they weren’t the easiest.

After my maternity leave ended in May 2015, I went back to work. Little did I know that my happy working self would merely last five months – things at work had changed while I was away and it was time to move on…

At the same time, V was starting up his new venture – a custom wood furniture shop and needed help with branding/website. G was just little over 17 months, so we decided that I’ll stay home, indefinitely.

We took him out of daycare and with that, my stay-at-home-mom days begun.
At the beginning it wasn’t bad, pardon me my straightforwardness; I was busy helping out V, it was wintertime and days were filled with social engagements and events. I barely was noticing the change. In February, we went to visit my parents in Maine, stayed with them for about a month and before you know it, it was springtime. Coming April, we went to Mexico for a short getaway. Only after our arrival, the reality of staying home kicked in.

How exactly was it for me? Well, I was pretty much driven by the sheer thought of “husband will eventually come home”, and I’ll have some me-time, some time for activities other than cooking, laundry, walks to the playground. During the days, every opportunity I had to get out of the house with G – I took. Funny, but looking back on that time now, I was the most social self☺ I’ve met some very awesome mothers in the community and always had somebody to go with for a coffee, for a stroll in the park or just hang out. That’s what actually helped me through those tough times – support of women around me.

I was also deep into new job search. I was determined to find something that will bring change…not just a change to my “stay-at-home “status but to our life in general…not sure how to describe it, but for some reason I knew that relocating would be a new start. So I applied all over Canada. Without going too much into the detail about the job search (I’m sure you’ve all been through it), I was offered a position in Yellowknife, Northwest Territories.

So here I am, a working mom with a job that makes me smile and a toddler who smiles back at me at the end of every work day when I pick him up.

This is our story… let’s begin.

Out of the blue, I know. But better late than ever, right? And look, it's only been two years:) I can’t wait to share the latest news of our little family. Just need to wrap my head around where to start…

Oh, this place is our new home. Yellowknife, Northwest Territories, Canada. We’re loving it here so far☺

Sorry, blog, I am having way too much fun with Instagram

This was probably inevitable – new mom with not so much time on her hands but too many ambitions, switching to a much easier to maintain platform.
Well, maybe I’ll be back someday, maybe I won’t. But at this time of our life blogging seems to be a drag rather than an experience. And maintaining two social accounts – well, that’s just not an option for me at this time.
So, I hope to see you on IG, folks! Whether we like it or not – it is there, and with a right way of handling can be a fun and great way to meet like-minded people!

First time apart

Today marks the beginning of a third week of our vacation in Maine. And it’s the second week since V went back home and we are apart.
We have a plan for him to finish some of the renos in the house. There is work that simply can’t be done with a little one in the house. So we decided it is best if we stayed behind while V finishes at least what we have started (I’m thinking about you, entryway). Once that’s done he will come back for us.
One the one hand, it was a great plan and I’m itching to see the result, on the other, being separated like this simply stinks. Even though I have my parents to help out with baby G (and boy, aren’t they great hand and kindest babysitters ever!), I still feel strange being the major caregiver. For the past three months, V and I worked out a system of shared care and responsibility for baby G and now that he’s away, I really miss it. Not that I can't handle the kid myself, but it feels strange to even give him baths without V being nearby.

Did you have to separate for a while when you had your first kid? How did you manage if you had to?

Today it’s all clouds

Yesterday was sunny. We had such lovely day together.
Today V and I are both down with a bug - sore throat, weakness. But he had to go to work and I have to take care of baby G, who’s also very fussy and won’t sleep. I am on tea with honey and some lemon, but would love to add some ginger, only not sure if it’s allowed when you breastfeed.

Any home remedies that you know of that won’t have an effect on breastmilk?

Beauty on my walk

Beauty is all around. It’s hard not to share. I look around while I push baby G in the stroller and I can’t help by take notice of simple things – flowers, trees, leaves, sky. I wonder: we have it all right under our noses but do we ever appreciate the simple beauty that surrounds us? That is right here, right this moment, right this minute? Or are we so used to it that we don't notice anymore?

These questions run through my mind while I get out my phone and take few pictures to try to document some of it. I leave all the other thoughts and worries behind and just concentrate on what’s around me and G at the moment.
I live that moment, I know that for sure. It is simple and lovely; it is something I never thought I’d appreciate so much.

Take notice next time you are out. Love your neighbourhoods. Have a lovely Sunday.

How easy it is not to blog these days…

Whoever still comes to this little corner of the net to check on us (or accidently), I say thank you, thank you for your patience and for stopping by!
Really, I am trying to type this as fast as I can before baby G wakes up and starts to demand my attention or V comes home from work hungry as a wolf.
But as much as I love my boys, I love my little blog, so I am determined to keep it up!

In terms of baby care, it is getting a little easier to handle G, I gotta admit. I think I’ve learned his patterns of behavior now when he’s about to turn two months. Without going into too much detail - he sleeps through most of the morning and early afternoon, by that I mean a good 40 minutes naps☺ Which makes it hard to start up doing anything, so I am finding myself constantly multitasking – checking emails in the bathroom (sorry for TMI), doing light aerobics while rocking him to sleep, making to-do lists while eating, and of course – thinking over my next blog post while walking him:).

Life is definitely 180 degrees different now.

You’ve also probably noticed that there haven’t been any reno posts in a while. Well, what can I say? We are behind any sorts of schedules. We are also trying to figure out how to move forward with the rest of upgrades with little baby in the house. If we had parents in the city to help out, that would have been a great solution - drop off baby G there for few hours and do something in the house. Since that is not our case, we are falling behind on finishing things/starting new projects. There is a reno update coming up on something very little, but these days – I’m thankful we get even little things done:).
The second pic I have chosen for this post is not coincidental. Like I mentioned in one of my latest posts, I’m on Instagram these days, yes, getting a little addicted, I must confess. Sometimes I stumble upon accounts where everything looks so stylish, so well executed and placed, and while I am in awe of what other women with children(!) are capable of, part of me also gets irritated with all the perfection of their daily life. So this is my contribution to those shots. The slice of reality of my life, nothing staged or filtered:)

Oddly, I like it my way:)

Now we are three

Well, I didn’t quite make it to Mother’s Day to give birth but leaving the hospital with my own baby boy in my hands was truly magical and I cannot feel more grateful.

Baby G was born on Friday, May 9th and has been our world every second since:) We are beyond happy to have him make our little family feel more complete.

I am itching to tell you his birth story (and all the other mommy knowledge I'm acquiring!), as I believe every birth is special and learning from other women’s experiences is priceless.
Just bear with me as I gather thoughts about the past while all I can think of is this magical present!

Sunday update

39 weeks tomorrow 

That’s right - no baby yet!
Are we getting impatient? You bet! And not only us but people around too☺ I’ve had strangers asking me when the baby’s due and it feels like I’m on a mission at this point.:)Tomorrow is another check up and I’m hopeful the doc has some answers on the timing.
But like V says, “all in its time”:) and I can’t help but agree.

Especially, since we are not on track with baby preps. I’ve given up the idea of having the nursery ready on time a while back, I told you that. Even though I’ve finished my part of the deal – the mural (which came out nicely and I can’t wait to share it!), V is really struggling with his. He’s been crazy busy with submitting taxes for the first time as an entrepreneur these past few weeks and dealing with seasonal increase of customers requests.

On top of that, the poor guy is needed by my side badly. I find myself helpless to do anything on my own these days. Even the idea of going to a store without hubby, makes me cringe. I guess it’s another pregnancy side effect I didn’t expect – clinging to your partner every free minute he has:).

Hope I'll have more updates for you during the week!

Sweet home

During our neighbourhood walks V and I talk about our living situation sometimes. Our current home – are we happy with it? Do we dream about what/where our future home would be? When is the time to upgrade, if we ever decided to? Walking amongst flashy “For sale” signs (counted five just on our corner the other day) has that effect on us sometimes, not that we are not happy with where we are now but we both have an open mind about it.

Truthfully, I haven’t decided on how I feel about this culture of changing houses frequently. I come from a country where most people never move from their apartments once they buy them. Both my grandmas have been living in theirs for as long as I can remember and friends, who have been lucky to get approved for mortgage, are looking at a one-bedroom apartment and consider a two-bedroom a luxury.

In this Western world, things are different completely. Apartment buildings aren’t meant for families and most of the times people get settled in semi-detached homes, terrace houses, town houses or single homes - depending on their needs, situation and budget.

As for us, the couple that is somewhere between the two worlds, we have decided that we are perfectly settled for now. Even with baby to join us soon, we have no intention on moving or upsizing. When we bought our semi two years ago, we knew that it would be our home for the next few years ahead and that gave us a green light to start prettifying it. At first, we were making the upgrades with a “for sale soon” idea in mind. It wasn’t right, it felt like we were not really living there and we dropped that notion. We started making decisions with “us” in mind: what we like, what we want, despite of the resale value that's been holding us up before. Now I can’t help but fall in love with our home more and more. Yes, there are things that could have been better (less noisy neighbour, a garage maybe?) but can you ever find something 100% perfect?

I can’t help but feel happy for what we’ve already done to this house and what’s ahead. And more importantly, I feel grateful that we have a place that we can call our home.

Determined to stay social after the baby

Don’t know about you but I had this happen to me at least once – after a friend have had a kid, we basically stopped seeing each other. They got busy with new responsibilities (which is totally understandable) and I got tired of reaching out or waiting for their response.
And while I totally understand the whole “life without kids” vs. “life with kids” division (and soon to experience "life with a kid" side), I want to believe that real-life friendships can be saved after kids arrive. The trick is that just like with anything good in life, you have to make an effort and invest time in relationships/friendships in order for them to continue to flourish.
One of the most valuable advices I got from the parenting books and people already with kids:

"continue to nurture your other relationships while you're busy raising your kid/kids.

"Family life sure is rewarding but it’s healthy to have a balance and for the new parents/mommy to get out once in a while. Getting together with other adults even for an hour or two – is a great way to learn new things, to just chat, or to exchange opinions on various issues in life."

And I’m determined to stick to it. Moreover, I’m very determined to foster new friendships.
This past week was all about that - being social and spending time with people and participating in the life of our community. Prenatal classes, coffee shop meet-ups, book clubs, little get-togethers - it felt great and I'm hopeful not to let these important connections fall off my radar screen once we have our baby.

What do you think? Did you feel isolated when you had kids/went on mat leave? What was your "social strategy" (if any, of course)?

Sorting out… future

Actually it’s buckwheat that I’m sorting out before cooking it. But it symbolizes the state of our “future parents” mind/mode oh so well.
V and I consider ourselves “practical” people. We usually don’t through ourselves into something without discussing it first and making sure we are able to handle it.
Life has taught us to plan, foresee and make decisions that we are both on board for. Honestly, it’s so much easier this way!
So with this new big event to happen in the coming future, we want to be as prepared as possible. No matter what other parents are telling us on how our lives are going to change (they mean well, of course), we are determined to go about it “our own way”. This probably sounds way too superficial but we both have a feeling that it will be all right. That we will manage. That we will enjoy parenthood without tough sacrifices.

I find that renovating our semi has been a great school in terms of compromise, setting priorities and financial planning. We are so used to brainstorming, discussing (and yes, arguing but with productive outcome:)), making to do lists and then executing what we had agreed on, that I honestly see this “system” being applied to other aspects of life. And caring for the child together is one of them.

Have I intrigued you enough? Because I sure did intrigue myself with what's to come!:)

Stopping halfway

First, let me tell you what it is actually like to be on vacation at home: cooking, cleaning, folding laundry. Remember Miranda's words in SATC about having a maid: “It’s like if I’m not working, I should be cleaning or making pies”.
I’m down four days of my well-deserved vacation and it seems that all my activities are happening in the kitchen. Husband comes from work hungry – I make sure there is food. On the plate and in the fridge/pantry. Otherwise I get “you were at home all day, why didn’t you cook”? And with his workouts and manual labour, I feel like I’m living with an always hungry man.
I started using dishwasher. I’m not subjecting my hands to washing dishes three times a day, everyday. And I'm thinking of getting a slow cooker to minimize the dinner cooking time!

But enough complaining. I was able to do my black wall. Or halfway black wall, to be exact. And I think I’m stopping at just that. I was tempted to go all the way up, really, but I felt it might be too much for this space: What do you think?

Oh, please ignore the wooden air vent sticking out, it's living its last few days before being replaced.

Vacation plans

Work, work, work and no blogging time.
Stay tuned though, today is the last day before my vacation and I have big plans! And I promise you, my dear readers, I will document this time to the best of my abilities and allowance of daylight. Really, it is so hard to find energy to do anything (let alone make a worthy post about it) when it’s pitch black by 5pm!
So here is the plan for the next few weeks:
Entryway:

1. Finish entryway – the floor is done, the grout has dried, but yet I haven’t started my black wall paint plan!
2. Visit wood store to get ideas for mudroom bench and shelve for V to make;
3. Find a round mirror;
4. Go to Ikea and get these shoe containers to hung under the mirror;
5. Sew new door curtain that lets in the light;

Living room:

1. Sew curtains!
2. Rug research;
3. Lounge chair/arm chair research;
4. Artwork to paint;
5. Electrical fireplace research/dreaming of;

Leisure:

1. “Coupletiming” – spend time with hubby between his busy schedule;
2. Visit parents in Maine. Take a walk on the beach and take in wintery ocean view;
3. Shop (for the house, no self-indulgence!)
4. Knit something;
5. Spend time with family, eat good food and drink good wine.

Of course, take pictures for all of those activities and get lots of practice with the new lens!

5 years

So much I want to say and so few words come to mind…
Do we even exist without love? Do we know the true happiness without having to share it with someone?
What would my life be without you - I can’t imagine, what would I be without you – I don’t want to know.
No matter what life throws at us, my darling, I’m here for you… Today, tomorrow and forever.

BalancedWays on Instagram

This is in no way a departure form the blog. Quite the opposite, it will give a closer look on what's going on with us on daily basis.

I love blogging to pieces, but I find that taking pictures with my DSLR, downloading them on the computer and then editing them for the blog takes a lot of time. As a result, some updates are left uncovered. With this new tool, I'm hopeful to make the documenting a bit easier and more fun.

Hope you’ll stop by!

Curb appeal? I don’t think so…

This is what our neighbour has been working on for the past couple of weekends: Do you find this appealing? I admit, his lawn was never perfect (neither is ours, to be honest), but is this a better solution? I guess I can understand that he’s a busy fella and has no time to cut the grass from time to time, but having to witness all grass being excavated and plastic film with rocks placed instead almost made me cry. This is how our street entrance now looks like: The "border" that separates us from the gravel patch: I mean, first he cuts down two beautiful pine trees (I literally cried), now this!
It’s getting really hard for me to be living next to this neighbour. I know that you don’t get to “pick” your neighours when you buy a house but I believe you have every right to escape the ones that make you feel genuinely unhappy.

Dream follow-up

Ok, this isn’t exactly my dream realized, but it’s a dream come true for a very special people – my parents. A week ago they became homeowners of this beautiful house in a wonderful coastal town called Scarborough, Maine. We are super happy that after months of searching and endless viewings, they have finally found their dream home. I know nobody else who deserves a proper home more than my “never-settling-in-one-place” dear parents.
Before committing to buying this property, they were really into the idea of building a house. Unfortunately that was easier said than done. Without going into too much detail, it was REALLY hard to find a trustworthy contractor for such big project.

So they decided to buy. The main best feature of this house is that it’s within walking distance to the ocean – this was a must for my parents, as they love the ocean and ocean air (a reason number one why we couldn’t get them to settle in Ottawa!) and now they can walk to the beach. And of course, 1.3 acres of land didn’t hurt either - lots of room for gardening projects and grandkids to run around.

There are things to be added and updated, but generally, the house is in a great shape and we can’t wait to pay them a visit!

Dreaming of living in the country

Do you do it too sometimes? Dreaming of what it would be like changing your lifestyle and moving to the country one day?
Well, I have been for a few days now, I "blame" our recent trips to Almonte and Smith Falls for putting doubts about our current lifestyle in my mind.


I just couldn’t stop thinking about quitting the city and moving to a little rural town. I don’t know exactly where this idea is coming from. Maybe it has to do with the fact that we’re living in a mess, maybe it’s because of our noisy neighbour (oh, the reality of living in a semi-detached!) or maybe it’s simply because I want to try living out of town?

In any case, I went to the inspiration source of all sources - mls.ca and started looking. Just typed in our price range, the imaginary location and started browsing houses.
And this is the type of house I found myself most attracted to:

Just the right size...

with generous backyard.

A beautiful Century home with original moldings, hardwood and baseboards. With simple layout and a generous backyard. Just couple of rooms, a living room and a kitchen. No fancy add-ons or unattainable square footage. Something we could manage, beautify over the years but not too much, so it doesn't loose its originality. Most of all, a house that’s got character, history and personality that is so rare to find these days.

Love the floor, door frames and those wide baseboards!

Right after I found our perfect house, my imagination started working. I was imagining V working outside, building something or setting-up a little garden for us to grow our own produce. I was imagining myself cooking in the kitchen and old hardwood squeaking under my feet as I move around. I was imagining summer weekends when our family and friends could visit and enjoy the fresh air, fresh food and the quietness of the place. I was imagining falling asleep in an old house like that and listening to it slowly calming down by making little sounds. I was imagining meeting new people, learning about the town’s history from them, maybe making new friends?

Then I went onto dreaming about winter:)(See, at this point I was really committed:)) I was dreaming of the white landscape, wintery tranquillity and the snow quietly falling down outside and us sitting in the living room, lit up by the fireplace (a wood burning one!). I was dreaming of wild animals coming close to our home and me trying to feed them and “make friends”:). I was even envisioning V with a snow blower fighting the "never-ending-Canadian snow" in the evening so we could get out of the driveway in the morning. I even went on as far as imagining our kids one day growing up so close to the nature, learning and appreciating its value and fragility.

Then my dreams got derailed. My realistic self overtook my romantic self. And the “spoil-the-moment” questions started creeping in: why would WE buy out of town, when all of our peers seem to be settling down in the suburbs? how would we manage daily commute to work? what about winter driving? what about V’s business?

Very good questions that I had no answers for. I didn’t have it all figured out but it certainly made me rethink our expectations, our views on where we are now and where we want to be in the future. Truth be told, this type of planning/dreaming is constantly on our minds, because after all, there are so many possibilities, so many options out there open and waiting to be taken. I’m sure we would be able to figure it out one day and find a perfect place for us in this imperfect world.

Images source: 1-2, 3.